Calgon Take Me Away!!

Some days I can take more noise then other times. Today is one of those days when my noise level is not very high. I guess it gets that way when there are too many people occupying this small space in which I live in. I remember that when we lived in a bigger space and it was a couple more people in that bigger space I didn't mind the noise too much because there were like 4 other rooms that I could go into and not hear a thing. Here it is a lot different. Here there are 5 people, two bedrooms, one small living room and one bath room. Not very many rooms to "escape" too. And when everyone is here it is all noise all the time. My son can make enough noise for oh lets say a round number here of about 2million people. And he is always where I need to be in the house most times.  My nephew is grown but sometimes he is 26 going on 6. And to top it off my son and nephew drive me crazy with a capital C just walking around and walking and walking aimlessly from room to room. I am like OK I am sure that you have found a destination by now since this is far from a mansion. They laugh and I take a Tylenol for my headache. 

I am not a complainer or a whiner most times but sometimes I just secretly wish that calgon could take me away like the commercial. But, then I laugh too because I think that if calgon could take me away someone would be knocking at the bathroom door to bring me back from my pretend trip.  That would be no good.  But, a girl can dream can't she? 

So with every TV on in the house, with every voice talking louder then necessary, with every bang of a random pot, dish or plate in the kitchen, with every closing of a door loudly and with every Tylenol I am taking for a headache I close my eyes and think like in the Wizard of OZ  there is no place like home.  But, this home is not like the Wizard of Oz it is more like that show 227. I used to love that show. 

It's dinnertime and I get happy at dinnertime because I know that after dinnertime bedtime is right around the corner and my bed and pillow can take me away like calgon.
 

Life's No VACATION

Before I had my son, long before, I had this fantasy that when I had kids I was going to do all the things that I never got to do when I was little. When I was a kid we couldn't afford to do much after my father died so all the plans that we had made before he died we never did. The family vacation to disneyland never happened, the vacation to Marine World never happened and so many things that we planned as a family never really happened. I didn't really fret over it or worry about it because even though we never had those family vacations my sister and I had fun just playing with our cousins over the summer riding bikes and eating junk food and having picnics in the front yard and even selling lemonaid in the front of the house. So, I never worried about the vacations that we were not going on. Although, honestly, when my cousins went to Hawaii and Disneyland one summer I was kind of jealous. I wish that we could go but I understood why we couldn't and although I missed them for the two weeks that they were gone we still had fun when they got back. 

I wanted to take all these vacations and more when I had kids. I actually told my sister one day when I was around 13 and she was 10 that when we had kids we would all go on family vacations with everyone. We would take our mom on the vacations that she never had with all of our kids. At that time I fooshily thought that I would have a big family, six or seven kids for me back then was my goal along with a good job to support all these kids. Funny how it didn't quite work out that way. But, nonetheless we thought that it was a great idea and couldn't wait until that day came. 

That day came when I was 41 years old and had my son. My sister by that time had her 3 boys and we still hadn't been on any vacations. It's ten years later since I had him and life kind of got in the way of all of our vacation plans. We sort of had one, ok, not really, but the closest we got to some sort of "vacation" when we were homeless and stayed in hotels, before then I had only stayed overnight in one with my grandmother at a convention near the airport. I had to think of something positive in a negative situation so I pretended with my then 4 year old that we were on a vacation. We had the suitcases, some clothes, and the car. We even at one point had stuff tied to the roof of the car like they do on some of the vacation movies I had seen on TV. So, for 4 months we pretended as we went from hotel to hotel, some cheap, some more expensive and some in the middle, that we were on an adventure. In a way it was an adventure. 

Once we found an apartment we stayed for a little bit and moved around the corner to a little, very little, bigger one. I was thinking that now maybe since we are more settled and my mom was in pretty good health that we could have a real small vacation. But, then life got in the way again. Jobs were lost, money got tight and times got harder yet again. So, the closest thing to a vacation we got was going to the marina to see the ducks for a while. Then other things happened also. My mom got sick and her health will never be the same. Walking down the stairs is not an easy task for her anymore so basically she is stuck in the house most of the time and some of the time she goes on the porch. She will not tackle the stairs and the only way she will is when she has to go to doctor's appointments. I really feel sad for her. She used to love being outside. We all loved to be outside in my grandma's garden. But, for now I guess it is what it is. I just hope that one day soon that we all can have a vacation together. 

Or maybe even get out to the park together, something we all took for granted until the day came when it was so hard to do. 

KrAzy FaMiLY

After my nephew graduated from high school over ten years ago he moved that same day to Los Angeles and has been there ever since. He has made a life for himself down there. Lately, since my mom has been sick I have been talking or texting him more then when he first moved there. Now, he has a child of his own who will turn a year old in a few days. I was just thinking how fast time does really fly when I looked at the calendar and thought to myself that in a few days that little Kevin will be a year old and we have yet to meet him in person. It is like Los Angeles is in another country sometimes and it is about a 8 hour drive away from where we are. But, nonetheless, works, schedules, school, etc..always get in the way and before you know it a year has passed and I am standing there looking at the calendar thinking boy, time went fast. 

The other night I was texting him about how my mom was doing and then I asked him out of the blue sort of if he was going to get his son baptized and he said oh yeah he was. From what he told me I think that the child will have two baptisms but I could be wrong. It took me back to when my son was baptized when he was about 14 months old. I remember that day. It was a day that I couldn't forget if I tried because it was full of drama and funny things.

It all started with trying to book the church and it took two tries to get that done. After the church was booked the day came and we lived during that time about ten or so blocks away from the church. I thought that we would be driving there but nope as luck would have it the car was broken and so we had to walk in the unseasonal heat of 80 degrees in February. Before we even started our hot journey to the church was the journey to find some God parents for my son. So, my son's dad picked the Godfather and the Godmother we had chosen started to have problems with her boyfriend shortly after my son was born so we had to choose another. I chose my sister. So, there we were on the day. My son was sick with some stomach bug that he had woke up with that morning. I was thinking okay this is not going to be a great day. So, I dressed him, dressed myself and my sister and two nephews were going with us so they all got dressed. Being that we had just moved in to the house we were staying in nobody really looked like they were going to church dressed in their best  "good " clothes as we would say when we were little. We all just opened clothes boxes and tried to find something clean and presentable to wear. So, it was not like where everyone dressed in their Sunday best with flowing dresses and suits and ties. Nope we had on slacks, jean, shorts and blouses and tee shirts. I know we looked quite the sight. My son was dressed up though. Not in a tradition christening gown though. He had on an outfit that was worn by his oldest cousin when he was that age. So, off we went in our walking shoes.

My mom didn't go because she was waiting for my uncle to come by with something important, I can't remember what it was now but back then she was adamant that she couldn't leave before he came so she stayed at the house. So, we loaded the stroller with my son, some water, and a baby bag and off we went. Now, I didn't exactly time this thing right thinking that we would be walking faster then we actually did walk and so we were not even half way when we were supposed to be there. I was thinking that the priest was probably ready to send smoke signals to us because we were so late. 

We got there about 15 min late and my son's father was supposed to meet us there. He calls and says that his mom who was supposed to give him a ride said she couldn't. So, he had to borrow a car from the neighbor across the street whom he was house sitting for while he was in Hawaii. Did I mention that the neighbor was supposed to be the Godfather? Yep, he was. So, since he was in Hawaii we needed a stand in for the Godfather, that was supposed to be my son's father's brother, but his father's brother couldn't come either because the day before his wife decided to leave him. So, we had to choose a stand in for the stand in.The stand in for the stand in was my nephew. So, we got to the church with all the stand in's and such and my son's dad still was not there. The priest went over the ceremony with us and we waited for my son's dad to come and he arrived 20 min after we got there. I know that the priest was probably tired of us by then. My youngest nephew read from the bible, my son threw up on me twice during the ceremony which only lasted 10 minutes or so and then we thanked the priest and were off to the long walk back home. 

My son's father arrived in a truck so that met that none of us but one person could ride in the truck so my youngest nephew rode with him and we all walked. By the time we got back to the house we were all tired and sweating. My son was sleeping on the way until the key was turned to unlock the door and then he opened his eyes  and as soon as I picked him up he threw up again on me. We took him to the doctor whom said what we thought it was a virus and it should pass in a few days and it did.

So, that was that he was baptized and we were all happy that I only had one child. 

I don't know who my grand nephew's baptism is going to go but with our crazy family I wouldn't be surprised if there will be another funny story to tell in the near future. 

With Cream and Sugar Please

Two mornings ago the smell of coffee filled the air of my house. It reminded me of the smell of my grandmother's house. When I was little and spent the night there every morning the smell of coffee woke me up. I used to love that smell. I would run down the stairs to the kitchen where I would find her usually sitting at the table sipping on a cup of strong hot coffee reading the paper or watching morning TV. By then my step grandfather had already gone to work after his coffee and his big breakfast that she would make for him. I think that the mornings after he left for work were just her time to relax and think about the day. 

I would always ask for some coffee because in my mind of a child it made me feel grown up sipping on coffee just like my Nana. She would fill a little coffee mug that she got just for me. She would ask me how I liked my coffee and I would say with sugar and cream please. She would put milk in it for the cream and I would have more milk then coffee. But, I didn't care. We would sip our coffee and share stories and talk about what we would do for the day. Most of the time we would walk all over the city. We would end up at her favorite thrift store down the way called the Turn About Shop at that time, and we would browse and I would try on stuff and she would usually buy me a little something and then it would be time for lunch. Nana was pretty thrifty and so we would hardly buy a $3 sandwich for lunch. Once we walked into a deli and when the man told her that the sandwiches were $3 a piece I thought that Nana was going to faint. Back then $3 was a lot of money for some bread, meat and cheese. Needless to say we walked out and walked right over to the grocery store across the street and got some tuna, bread, lettuce, and tomatoes for $3. We made our own sandwiches and Nana made punch and we had our lunch at her house in the backyard under the old pear tree while her little dog, Caesar begged for food. 

So, when the smell of coffee woke me up the other morning I felt like I was transported back to another time in my life, 45 years ago when I would wake up and have coffee with Nana. I miss those days. I miss Nana. I don't make coffee because after Nana died I really didn't have anyone to drink it with. But, it was never really about the coffee it was about the company, the stories, the bonding and the love. 

I sincerely felt my grandmother's spirit that morning when I came into my own kitchen where my nephew was standing near the kitchen counter stirring his coffee in his cup and asking my mom how would she like her coffee and she said, "With sugar and cream please."

Reading Rainbowish

It is strange how sometimes you get reminded of things from the past while you are doing something in the present. My son doesn't like to learn new words, which is strange because he likes to read, but nonetheless, I had to get creative for him to learn new spelling words so I came up with a game that I used to watch on TV back in the day called Concentration where the people had to remember stuff and I used to play it with cards when I was younger with my sister. So, I wrote his spelling words on index cards or card stock and we play concentration so he is learning the words and he is having fun all at the same time. Of course, he gets a thrill out of "beating" mommy too, an added bonus. 

So, while I was playing this game with him last night I was thinking back to about 10 years or so ago when I had applied for  a job reading to the blind. I found this job online when I was volunteering at job center helping other people compose their resumes and cover letters. So, I said what the heck and applied for it since you know I can read and all. I was thinking how hard can that be? I got a call a couple weeks later for an interview. I had to take the bus and I was early, typical for me going places I have never been. I left in plenty of time in case I got lost and had to call for help or directions. I sat on this bench across the street from the place and waited and chatted with this homeless woman until it was time for me to go in. She was very nice and told me a lot about the place before I left. She had used it for some services since she was disabled herself. I thanked her for the information and she smiled and wished me luck. 

I go in and the receptionist tells me to have  a seat which I did on a little chair about ten feet from the desk. A man sat in the chair next to me. He was tall, bald and had a beard that reminded me of Santa Claus. He asked me if I could help him fill out a form for his case worker because he forgot his reading glasses. Before we were done the case worker called him and he wished me luck with the interview and hurried down the hallway to an office with an open door at the very end of the hallway. 

About ten minutes later this woman appeared and introduced herself and asked me to follow her. We walked to the other end of the building where her office was and so were a couple of people and they all introduced themselves. I sat down and was given a book with a book mark in it and was asked to turn to that page and read the page. I did. It was a passage about Freud. It had some big words as my son would say but I managed to read them correctly. 

The next step was answering questions from them. The typical what would you do questions if this or that happened.  I did the best I could with those and that was basically the end of the interview besides the usual don't call us we will call you. 

I didn't get the job. They never called so I called them and found out that way. But, that was okay. 

I told my son that story last night and emphasized the importance of reading and even though I didn't get the job I told him I still had to know how to read lots of words. He agreed and guess what? He now wants to play our concentration game ten times per day. I think I need to find more new words. 

Taking the Stairs

My son likes to play around a lot, sometimes all day long if he could get away with it. So, the other day when I was holding ten bags of groceries trying to get them up the stairs in as less trips as possible and my son was holding one bag he was walking so slowly up the steps with me behind him laughing all the way. Well, my arms felt like they were about to fall off holding these million bags, OK

, maybe 3-4 in each hand but it felt like 10 or ten million at the time, I was just trying to hurry him along. He thought it was so funny that I walk extremely slower then him almost at all times. It is true. I am old and he is 10. I told him of course most of the time I walk slower then him but it is not that I can't walk as fast as him. I just told him that so he would not think that I had one foot in the grave already. 

So, on the second trip to the car to grab a few more bags of groceries, my son did the same thing walking at turtle speed and laughing at and looking back at me from time to time. Thankfully, we only have oh about 15 steps. I was going to say something to him because I was tired. It had been a long day and then to boot we had to go to the grocery twice in one week. Not exactly my favorite place to go. It costs more to get less. I was thinking if he doesn't hurry up I have to yell in public at him and embarrass myself in front of the 80 year old neighbor who just had to be nosy and come outside to take a look  at what was going on. Then I thought again, before I said anything that he is only going to be 10 once. I should not be upset that he is playful and laughing and having a little fun with me going up the stairs that I should be laughing right along with him and swinging my bags too going up the stairs and down the stairs. Pretty soon he is not going to want to playfully go up the stairs with me holding groceries he is going to be a teen in a few years and not want to be seen with me. So, I should enjoy this time while I can. 

I decided to do just that. No more "grumpy tired I wish you would hurry up face" I laughed along with him and up and down the stairs we went happily swinging bags of over priced groceries.

Just Sitting

This morning I woke up a little early. Not much earlier then normal but I didn't really sleep too well last night so I was up about an hour earlier then normal for me. Everyone else was still asleep so the house was an eerie quiet. There are not many times during the day in this house where you can hear a pin drop except very early mornings. So, I got up and was going to turn on the TV in my room but decided not to. I checked my text messages on my phone, some of them and then I decided to just sit. I just sat on the edge of the bed and did absolutely nothing . I just sat. I listened to the neighbors outside in the parking lot chatting. The old building manager is always out there doing something or the other mainly because she uses the back door more then the front door so she is usually out there. She talks to everyone coming and going in the parking lot. Most are going to work or school that early in the morning. This morning the neighbors in the next building were telling her that they were Los Angeles bound. I guess for the weekend but they didn't really say. She asked them if they were all packed and to drive safely because of the storm that rolled in today. They loaded their toddler and dogs in the car and off they went. She briefly said hello to another neighbor and told them about her son who was coming to pick her up that's why she was outside waiting. 

It is amazing how much you hear when you are just sitting and being still. Not doing a thing just sitting and listening. I heard the garbage truck and the garbage collectors coming down the driveway to empty the garbage bin that is back there. They gossip about co-workers most of the time and are very loud. They would wake you up out of a good sleep. They come every week bringing the noise with them. Fortunately, it is only a few minutes of noise. Then back to normal. 

My son woke up briefly to go to the bathroom and asked if he could have something to drink. He barely touched the orange juice he poured himself and then went back to sleep. I got up and checked up on my mom in the other room. She was sleeping soundly. I crept back into my own room and sat some more and thought some more. I listened to the rain that finally came hit the window and listened to the wind blowing the raindrops that were hitting the window. 

I thought that today was nice. Just to sit and listen, not move for a while, not rush into the kitchen as I usually do after run to the shower to try to take a quick one before everyone wakes up and they want to run to the shower too, not to rush to cook breakfast, make lunches, wash dishes, scrub counter tops and wait for phone calls that are bound to come. Not today. Today I just sat in the peace and quiet of the early morning. 

I didn't know how relaxing that it was and I am thinking that I should do this more often. Sitting and listening to the quiet in the house. 

Entering the World of TEN

Last year my son turned 10 years old. I was happy and sad all at the same time. I was glad that he was ten but sad that he was ten, he had reached double digits in the blink of an eye.  Physically, he is growing up so very fast. He is almost as tall as I am. Not that I am tall but at ten he is very close to my height which is 5’4. By the summer we will be eye to eye.  The doctor said at his annual physical that he will be at least 6’4. I am in no hurry for that to happen, my baby being a foot taller than I am. Nope, not ready for that at all.

The other day he came inside from playing a long game of hide and seek tag with his friends, a game they made up, I noticed he smelled and not the usual sweaty smell that he had at nine but a different smell, like he needed a shower fast and some deodorant smell. I was thinking could this be the beginning of puberty?  I am not ready for that either but nonetheless, I had to start thinking of what kind of deodorant that I should buy for a ten year old on our next trip to the drug store. But in the mean time I handed him a extra container of secret deodorant I had and told him to put it on after his shower. He complained that it was a girls deodorant and was I sure boys could use it.  I assured him that it was fine boys could use it and that on our next trip to the store we would buy him some for “boys”.

Over the past year my son has shown more independence also. He is taking more responsibility for his chores and even offered to wash dishes after dinner. He needs less help from me doing homework which is a very good thing since the 4^th grade math makes my head swim sometimes. And he has his own little routine in the morning when he gets dressed. He came up with a system all by himself and lays out his clothes the night before including his socks.  He even makes his own lunches which brings me to his ever increasing appetite.  This child can eat like a linebacker most of the time. I was like where did this come from? Some days it seems like the fridge never stays closed long. Fruit disappears faster than I can fill the bowl I keep it in on the table. It seems like it skips the bowl and goes straight into his stomach. I am glad that he eats mostly healthy foods and loves fruits and most veggies.  But, there are times when he wants that junk food too and sometimes on certain weekend days if you came to our house you might find both of us in a junk food haze watching a marathon of Cartoon network.

I am also finding out that this age is definitely the age of contradiction. My son will not hug me in public  because it is embarrassing he says. Then the other night while I was cooking dinner and he was playing in the front room and watching TV he came into the kitchen and asked for a hug. I was delighted to give him one since I hadn’t hugged him in days. It was a sweet moment. Of course, the no hugging in public rule still applies with him.  He is very independent but sometimes he needs help and guidance with his sticking to his schedule and I am happy to help with that.

Last night I was watching him sleep.  He did not like the fact that his bedtime changed to earlier because I wanted him to get enough sleep.  Every article I have read said that sleep is very important especially for growing kids.  He didn’t like it but I noticed that he almost goes right to sleep when he gets in bed now and I was thinking that the first ten years went by so fast. My baby is more independent,  taller, smarter, and becoming a tween right before my eyes.

At the Other End of the Aisle

Yesterday we went to the grocery store to pick up a few things for my mom's homecoming from the hospital. I usually try to avoid going to the store on the weekends because there is no parking or hard to find parking and we circle the parking lot endlessly around and around searching for someone coming out or a park closer to the store then a two block radius. We got sort of lucky yesterday since we only had to make one circle around the lot to find a parking space and we found a basket inside the store. The store wasn't that packed but the parking lot sure was. People parking there and going about their business other places I guess. Well, I told my son that he couldn't get a cartload of his "goodies" that day that this trip was strictly

for grandma. So, we walked around the store going down aisles trying to find this and that on the list and I noticed that this man who was about in his early thirties I would guess walking around. He didn't have a cart nor was he carrying any groceries in his hand so I was assuming that he probably was undercover security. Sometimes they have them walking around pretending to shop. I can spot them all the time. 

It looked like every other aisle that we walked down he was there just walking. So, by the time we got to the juice aisle I figured out that he was there with his mom. He reached the high shelf to get the juice down for her and then he put it in her cart. He resembled her quite a bit so I knew that he was either her son or grandson. Without a word exchanged between them she pushed the cart onward to the next aisle and he moved to a totally different aisle. He reminded me of my son. I was thinking that would my son in about 20 years. I could see him and I at the store and I am at one of the store and him at the other. In my son's case probably because he gets bored easily and can't keep still to save his neck. 

It was kind of like I was looking through a crystal ball and I laughed to myself. If my son could run down the aisle now at the other end of the store he would be there doing it. 

When we were in the check out line I saw them, mother and son, behind the person who was behind us. I paid for our stuff and then when we were driving out of the parking lot we saw them again. This time the son was pushing the cart to the big sliver truck in the parking lot and his mom followed for a minute and then ventured off the other way towards another store. 

It is just one of those things that I know will happen to me one of these days with my son. But for now he has to stay close to the cart. I will cherish these days, the days of staying close to mom because I know that in a blink of an eye he will be at one end of the store and me at the other.