The Beginnings

Most of the women I knew by the time their 40th birthday arrives they are pretty well established in a career, and motherhood and just basically have most of their live together. 

I wasn't one of those women. I was the complete opposite. By the time I was blowing out 40 candles on my birthday cake I was a hot mess as one of my friends would say. A couple years earlier I was in a relationship that I had spent ten years in and really should not have given him the time of day or ten minutes of my time. But, we all have had those relationships if we live long enough. Since I was then living with him before the break up in a city I detested I had no other option but to move back where my mom was living. My mom never owned her own home like most of her friends. She rented from her sister, a duplex, for many, many years. In retrospect she should have moved ten seconds after she moved in. But, she didn't. So, by the time I had to move back to the city I basically grew up in, ,y younger sister whom never moved out back then, but had 3 kids also living there with my mom and younger brother in a 2 bedroom duplex it was already a full house. 

Carrying two suitcases and a bag of dirty laundry there I was standing outside my mom's porch knocking on the front door asking for a place to stay at 38 years old. She didn't ask a lot of questions which was good cause I did not want to give a lot of answers. Everything else, material wise was lost in transition, meaning I never got too much more out of the house I basically ran from and the man.

Back at home and sleeping on a hot leather couch in the front room and lights from the computer shinning in my eyes all night long, because my oldest teen nephew lived online and refused to go to bed until the crack of 3 am every night. I could either laugh or cry so I laughed and held on to the hope this was only going to be temporary. After all, I still had a job and figured after a year at most of saving I would be good to go.

Boy, was I wrong. I had never been so wrong.

Three things happened in three years that I was totally not thinking was in the realm of my possibility of happening. First, I lost my job after 10 years almost 11 years of working there. I got injured and the next thing I knew I was being medically seperated from ,y job and sent settlement papers and basically that was it. They did send me for vocational training and I did have high hopes of getting another job but those hopes got dashed also. After 4 months of training to be an A+ certified computer technician I couldn't buy a job close or far from home because rejection letter after rejection letter all said the same three words " not enough experience" and I couldn't argue. I had none. 

Second thing happened was I met someone. I had no intention of getting involved with anyone after that bad break up about a year before. We clicked. We said said we only wanted to be friends. Friendship turned into romance which led to the 3rd thing.

Eighteen and a half months later after meeting the new guy and going back to school to get my degree in biotechnology I found out I was expecting my first and only child. 


All of these things changed my life forever.